Riding down Zion Church Road near Pricetown last Saturday I saw this couple with a yard tractor hooked to a trailer loaded with a well top.
Well, it won't actually a real one, but a decorative item.
Thinking it would make an unusual photo, I stopped, met the couple, Jimmy and Marilyn Mitchell, and asked if I could take their photo, which is with the column today.
They were real nice. Said they had been living in Pricetown for about three years.
Jimmy, 44, who is employed in construction with TLF Construction in Goldsboro, and who also does carpentry work on the side, said he started making the wells as a hobby.
Said he got started when his wife saw one somewhere and wanted one for their yard.
"He told me he could build me one," Marilyn said, "and he did."
She calls them "wishing wells." I've seen them here and there; some women plant flowers in them and so on.
Jimmy said he makes and sells them as a hobby.
If you want Jimmy to make you a "wishing well," they live on Zion Church Road, not far from Zion United Methodist Church and the Pricetown Fire Station.
--nb--
Mrs. Louise Bullock, who lives out near Rones Chapel, won a pickup truck that was given away Saturday night in a fundraiser at Rones Chapel United Methodist Church.
It was a 1986 blue Ford Ranger. I think Jackson Brothers Auto Brokers donated it.
Anyway, Mrs. Bullock is a fine lady who was a childhood friend of my late mother.
She may be 86 years of age, but Mrs. Bullock drives anywhere she wants to. She even wheels her big Mercury Marquis through the traffic nightmares at Chapel Hill and places in the Triangle.
Tickets for the pickup drawing were $5, and Mrs. Bullock bought only one. When her name was drawn, they gave her a choice of taking either the truck or $2,500 in cash.
She took the truck.
"Every woman needs a pickup truck!" she said.
Said she was going to use it to haul her trash on.
--nb--
If you're fat like me you know you have to go to the "big size" department to find anything to fit.
Last week I went to one of them big super Mart-type stores in Goldsboro looking some Big Men's drawers.
With us fat men it's always called Big Men's sizes. Big Women's departments have less intimidating names, like Fashion Plus Sizes, Full-Figure Woman or Mature Women's departments, no matter that they have sizes to fit a Ford Taurus.
As I was looking over the underwear I had to go to the bottom rack. The biggest ones are always on the bottom.
I was fumbling and getting irritated since I didn't see my size. Then up comes this model-looking, perfect-size young clerk, looking like he was straight from the Chippendale dancers.
"Sir, need any help?" he asked.
Why don't they have big men clerks in the Big Men's department? Fat, ugly men like us normal fatties. It would make the customer feel more comfortable.
Right in front of me, on the top rack was these thong-looking, sexy briefs. On the front of the packages there were color photos of models--who sure won't fat--in semi-provocative poses wearing them skimpy things.
"My, God," I thought. "I sure hope this clerk don't think I want any of them things."
So I quickly said, "I am looking some big shorts--where is the parachute rack?"
He smiled to be nice and I embarrassingly told him size I needed--and we finally found some.
They only had two pairs and I got 'em both because they are hard to find, unless you order from Penny's Big Men's catalog.
Which is what I plan to do next time so I won't be embarrassed by a real catalog model helping me find the biggest pair of drawers in the store.
--nb--
Here is something someone passed to me. (It's all in fun now, so don't nobody get your drawers in a wad.)
It's called "Rules of the South for Yankees":
1. Don't order a steak at a pancake house. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. And don't assume pancake house grits are more typical of grits in the South than a fast-food restaurant represents your best California dinner.
2. Don't laugh at folks' names. Merleen, Earleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Bobby Sue, Mary Beth, Bubba and Inez have been known to whip a man's butt for less than that.
3. Southern women just don't fancy to smart-mouth Yankees. Just remember, they all have brothers and daddies; and when they call you a Yankee, it's not a compliment.
4. Don't order a bottle of "pop" or a can of "soda"; this can lead to trouble. Down here it's called Coke, even if you want Pepsi.
5. Don't show allegiances to any other school in football other than an ACC or SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy butts who play Wyoming each week.
6. Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are better educated than you and a whole lot nicer to boot. And more modest.
7. Yes, we know the humidity is high; just quit bitching, spend your money and go home.
8. No, the state symbol of North Carolina is not the orange and white highway barrels. This road construction is p------ us off too.
9. Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and order toast. If you do this, everyone will know you are from Ohio. Just eat the biscuits like God meant for you to do.
10. Don't try to talk with a Southern accent if you don't have one. Nothing makes us madder than a Southern wannabe.
11. We don't play lacrosse or none of them other sissy Northern games, so don't be asking about no scores 'cause we just don't care.
12. Don't be telling everybody how much better it was back home. If you don't like it here, get your butt back home. (There is a popular bumper sticker in North Carolina that reads, 'We don't care how you did it up North!')
--nb--
Good news! Town Manager Ray McDonald Sr. told me Monday that Rep. Phil Baddour and Senator John Kerr have pulled the right strings and Breazeale Avenue--a state-maintained road that has been potholed and torn up for years--is finally going to be resurfaced.
Hallelujah!
As I told Phil the other day, there's a whole lot of votes that ride on that street every day.
Ray said, "Nelson, that was the first thing you told me after I was hired, that Breazeale Avenue needed repaving--and I've been working on it ever since. We just had to get the right people in the right place at the right time."
Sure it's politics, but, hey, ain't everything?
Thanks Brother Phil and Big John! Y'all always do look out for Wayne County.
--nb--
TILL NEXT WEEK, and thanks for reading this stuff:
This Beautancus man says his wife is getting so old and slow it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."
This Rones Chapel man says his wife ain't too bright; she just sold the car for gas money.
This Dudley man says women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
And Ruth--you remember Ruth from Seven Springs School--was studying word comparisons in a language course once.
"Students," the instructor asked, "how are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?"
"I know," Ruth says. "Somebody's going to lose a trailer." |
